Going home

On 20th August, I began my long journey from Edinburgh to Tunisia, stopping in London and Paris. When the plane finally landed in Tunis, I was overwhelmed with nostalgia and as the doors opened, I took a long, deep breath.

Home.  I was finally home.

How I had longed for that day, to have a Tunisian stamp in my new passport, to be greeted with 'peace be upon you', to hear Arabic again, to travel down streets called 'Rue Pakistan' & 'Rue Palestine', to disregard seatbelts and queues and to throw myself into the busy crowd and get lost forever, in jasmine and sunshine.

It's strange to go back somewhere you never really left.  Tunisia has become such a part of who I am, I can't ever leave it behind.  This time, I was there for a wedding and to visit friends and a very important little girl.  But I was also there to see if everything I felt remained.  Was 2012 merely a happy period of my life or could I have new stories, new love and life in Tunisia?

As soon as I seen Lucia, the Italian other half of me I felt myself again, maybe for the first time since I left.  We hugged in the street outside the big mosque in 'Passage' and I grabbed a fistful of her lovely little curls as I always did.  She'd stayed on after I left and was making a new home with her Tunisian half :)  As she had to work, I made plans to catch up with old and new friends in Tunis before we would travel to Sousse together.

I made the decision to meet up with someone I knew only via Facebook due to our shared love of Palestine.  I was a little apprehensive but oddly, less so than I would be in Edinburgh.  Wrongly or rightly, I have always felt safe in Tunisia.  Jihed met me with gifts of jasmine and flags from the greatest countries on earth - Tunisia and Palestine, ofcourse.  We met his sister, a writer and had a fantastic lunch in a rooftop restaurant in the medina.  They invited me to a concert at night in Carthage, Roman ruins overlooking Tunis.  To my delight, it was Shadia Mansour, a rapper from London and I was lucky enough to meet her at the end of the night.  In less than 24 hours, two people who had never met me before, gave me one of the most special days of my life.

Returning to Sousse where I spent the best year of my life was extremely emotional for me.  In one city I found myself, found soul mates & family, found love and the life I had always dreamt of.  I guess I was a little scared that my feelings would have changed, that maybe my city had become too intertwined with my feelings for the man I fell in love with there.  But very quickly I remembered that actually, my heart belongs to Tunisia, before anyone else.

I will always have a reason to go back and it's not because of one person, it is because of every person.  Jalel, my dear mentor and his wonderful family who always welcome me like their daughter and sister.  AJMEC and its members - the association who took care of me and even gave me a place to stay this time around.  My sister Mariem, who makes such a difference to this world, breaking barriers and prejudices simply by being her wonderful self, she inspires me everyday.  The beautiful little girl living in SOS children's village in Akouda, who threw her arms around me and brought peace to my heart.

Until next time, n7ebbekom (I love you all) x

'' Love is a temporary madness, it erupts like volcanoes and then subsides. And when it subsides, you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is."   - Louis de Bernières

What's that on your head? Hijab Stories

Since I started wearing the hijab on the 5th March 2013, I've said the word hijab more than 1,364,229 times.  I say it more times than I say my own name, I no longer need an introduction, apparently my hijab says it all.

Recently I attended a talk about feminism and stated how frustrating it is to spend so much time talking about the way I look - when that's exactly the opposite of what I was trying to achieve.  However, I'm learning to accept that it's something different for a lot of people and I suppose curiosity and questions are better than silence and judgement.  

Looking back over these months, there have been some really funny and beautiful moments.  So, I thought I'd write them down for the people who maybe wanted to ask but didn't in fear of saying the wrong thing or the right thing in the wrong way.

My Mum pines for 'my beautiful hair'.  Ofcourse she sees it all the time but she wants other people to see it and marvel at it's glory.  'It's such a waste for it to be hidden', a waste of what exactly I'm not sure but I promise to start making a conscious effort to swish, brush and flaunt it around the house as much as possible to get proper use out of it.  Love you Mum!

On a family trip to St Andrews, whilst they all tucked into sandwiches and wraps from 'Ye Old' whatever, I needed some spice!  After living in Tunisia for a year it's hard to taste anything without chilli.  The guy in the kebab shop was chatting away and asked where I'm from, to which I replied Edinburgh.  'No, where are you really from?'  I wasn't really sure what answer he was looking for.  He then asked me where my parents and grandparents were from.  Scotland and Scotland (I have the least exciting family tree ever).  As this was the first time this happened I was genuinely confused until I realised it was my hijab that was confusing him.  Now that I'm in on the game it's quite funny watching brains tick when I say I'm from Edinburgh.

Whilst at the YES Scotland march (please vote YES) we bumped into an old family friend.  She's a lovely woman, one of the funniest and most vivacious I've ever met actually.  Once at a dinner party she announced that my sister and I were both beautiful - 'One more beautiful than the other' (her take on an old saying apparently!).  This time she warmly embraced me and shouted 'Oh wow, look at you, you're still beautiful even with that on your head!'.  My Mum and me couldn't stop laughing, we know her and her reaction was a classic.  

Since coming home I've made a wonderful new friend called Sophie (don't be jealous old friends I love you too).  Sophie and me meet for jujube tea in cafe's where the cups don't match.  We discuss politics, feminism, religion, what's on at the Filmhouse, articles we read in the Guardian and dream jobs with human rights organisations.  She's wonderful.  The first time Sophie seen me without my hijab, her reaction was 'Oh my God, is that you?  I don't know if I like it, I mean I'm not used to it!'.  She only knows me with my scarf and it's a lovely feeling.  She readily accepts me, partly because she's a shiny star and partly because she doesn't come with any preconceived ideas about 'who I am'.

Finally, the amazing little girl who sat in her buggy on my bus home from work, pointing and giggling and sincerely asking, 'what's that on your head?'.  

The ones who didn't make the cut..........

The guy who thought it would be nice to shout abuse at me in the street, threaten to hit me and rip off my scarf.  And all the people who watched and said/did nothing.  Not cool.

The guy selling roses in Rome who was so happy that I'd converted that he started shouting about how 'not all Muslims are terrorists' in a crowded place.  

Thank you Tunisia

The day to say goodbye came far too quickly and there was no way to prepare myself.   I said goodbye to so many friends and colleagues and people who have treated me as a member of their family.  Soon I'll say goodbye to my home and my wonderful flatmates ( a word which sadly doesn't do them justice!).  I don't want to imagine the moment when my feet will leave Tunisian land, the very country that grounded me, that shaped me.

My leaving presentation was full of surprises and I was so incredibly touched and overwhelmed by all the videos, messages, poems, dance shows, gifts and guests.  Firstly, we planted a lemon in the 'Palestine corner' of the youth centre I helped to create.  Then it was time for me to make a final speech and show a short video about my experiences here.  It's so frustrating that there are no words to describe the year, no words to show how much you all mean to me.  I hope that one day, somehow, I can repay you all for every kind and humble gesture.

This is my goodbye - 

We're guilty in the U.K of believing that 'our way is best', that living any other version of life than our own equates to inequality, oppression, narrow-mindedness and a variety of other self-indulgent arrogances.  The best thing I, and any other volunteer can gain from this experience, is to appreciate that your logic, your morals and values and beliefs do not necessarily translate across the world -  and to date, no country is nearing perfect.   I've learned so much in Tunisia, from Tunisians, from their culture and Islam.  They are far richer in many ways than we are at home.  So take the best.

As well as traditional carpets and clothes and ceramics, I'm taking back some priceless gifts which will stay with me for a lifetime.  The importance of family, modesty, the strength and character of women, hospitality and the presence of children in your life makes everything worthwhile!

Last March I predicted in my journal how quickly my year volunteering in Tunisia would pass.  However I could never have predicted the people I would meet and how every single one of them would become a part of the person I am.

Thank you to each and every person I have met in this year.  To AJMEC Association, Xchange Scotland and the British Council for making it possible.

Volunteering Abroad; The why, the where and the how to!

When I was 12, I travelled to Romania with a family friend to visit an orphanage there which was receiving support from a U.K charity.  This was in 1999, when you could still see children living in drains, sniffing glue on the streets and worse.  The conditions were terrible.  But my childhood memories of Romania, are of friendships, love, kindness, playing and sunshine.  With one exception which stays in mind.  It was my last day and last goodbye to the girl who had become my best friend.  Normally strong and full of bravado, I watched her eyes fill with tears as she removed her bracelet and placed it on my wrist, a small link between our two very different worlds.  I was going home from what had been my exciting adventure and she was returning to her reality.  The unfairness of it all was too much, we were the same, so why didn't she get the same as me?  It's an experience that ignited something inside of me and that grows stronger all the time.  Inequality may be something we live with but it does not mean we should accept.

During the course of my studies I regularly organised  fundraising events and volunteered with a variety of not for profit organisations, in particular, educational charity 'Show Racism the Red Card'.  I also worked part-time but never found any salary or position which was as rewarding as my volunteer work.  It developed my confidence, self-worth and helped to nurture me into a young woman with strong ideas and opinions and self belief!

The European Voluntary Service program was an opportunity to gain further experience in the voluntary sector and in a completely new culture and way of life.  I chose Tunisia.  All expenses paid plus a monthly allowance, there was literally nothing stopping me.

My average week here involves language lessons, organising activities for sick children in hospital, calligraphy lessons and taking part in/organising activities in a local youth centre.  It involves laughter, spending time with the most wonderful children and young people, being immersed in a culture that exudes peace, kindness and selflessness.  It involves travel, reawakening of the senses, leaving behind the expectations of the society I grew up in and finding my own rules to live by.




The program is open to those between the ages of 18-30, you can opt for a short-term project (2months) or the maximum term 12 months.  You can also take part in one short project for 2 months and then another for 10 months if you wish.  There are so many amazing locations (ofcourse I'd recommend Tunisia!) and associations you can get involved with.  So if you've been reading my blog wishing you could do something similar, ask yourself, what is actually stopping me?  Life is too short, don't miss out on the opportunity of a lifetime!

Feel free to email me at KimberleyDavidson@hotmail.co.uk if you would like any more information or you can visit the links below!  Start your dream today!

EVS information

My Tunisian association, AJMEC

My Scottish association, Xchange Scotland

Tunisia 2012: A Transition Period

I know that physically, I look like a completely different girl to the one who left Edinburgh in March.  My level of attention to my appearance is probably about 10% of what is was.  Gone are the days of fake tan, false eyelashes and skyscraper heels. Gone, and good riddance I might add! 

Even in my personality I'm told there is a change, but it's been harder for me to recognise.  I've always known who I am on the inside, it was being comfortable enough to reflect that on the outside that was difficult.  

The pressure I felt as a young woman in the U.K was not only about aesthetics, although that in itself is enough to make anyone crumble quicker than a dropped compact.  It was the daily rat race to perfection, to have a dazzling night life, dream job, dream wardrobe, planned holidays, sporadic weekends and of course, not forgetting to photograph every single moment for Facebook, just in case others were in doubt that you do in fact love your life.  Or not.   

I probably fooled most.  Thank God I didn't fool myself.  Coming to Tunisia was one of the best decisions I've made in my life.  

One of the first things that struck me about Tunisia, is the lack of advertisements.  Where on earth was all the stuff I HAD to buy?  And where were those perfect half naked women that were put on this earth to make the rest of us mere humans feel bad about ourselves?  Everything that was so real, so part of my everyday life at home, had dissolved somewhere between the North Sea and North Africa.  There also isn't the same culture of celebrity and gossip magazines.   After 6 months without it, when I was faced with a copy of 'Heat'  magazine, I remember feeling genuinely offended by what was being said to me, both implicitly and explicitly.   Telling me 21 ways to have higher self-esteem whilst humiliating the poor reality TV star who has put on a few pounds.    

Now it goes without saying that there are pressures on women here too, each society has it's own problems. However as a 'westerner' coming here, it's like a cleansing of the mind.  I feel like I've regained a human sense of reality, with real human values at the core.  So what's important?  The same things that deep down we all care about in the U.K, family, friends and being a good person.  The difference is that here, these things take priority, without exception.  The western world teaches us to focus on the things on the surface and that that will make us happy on the inside.  In Tunisia, it's the contrary.

I watch teenage girls here going to school, in their trainers, jeans and blazer, looking liked fresh-faced children, which is what they are.  They're not plastered with make-up and dressed like girls in their twenties.  We need to take a good look at our youth in the U.K, at our young women and ask ourselves, how does our society nurture them?  Because as long as we continue to churn out images of unrealistic beauty and scathing attacks on women deemed 'too fat' or 'ugly', the '21 ways to better self-esteem' will be lost in the bottom of the make-up bag.  And I think, they deserve better.


This post is dedicated to my dear friend Lucia Spata.  'Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not discovered until they arrive.'


Interestesed in doing something similar?

Useful Links  - British Council - European Voluntary Service
                      - AJMEC Association, Tunisia
                       - Xchange Scotland

Which way next?

 Young Tunisians share their hopes for the future.

There has been much written in the news recently amid growing concerns about the increasing numbers of Tunisians risking their lives in search of a better future in Europe and beyond.  In September, a fishing boat carrying between 100 and 140 people, sank 12 miles away from it's final destination, the Italian island of Lampedusa.  Only 56 people survived.

In my time in Tunisia, I have met many young people who dream of going to Europe, Canada and America.  When I read about tragedies like this, it makes me think of them.  Their names, their faces, their hopes and expectations about a life outside of Tunisia.  The people who lost their lives last month, all deserved far more than what life has dealt them.  It's all too easy to judge their situation, to assume that their bad fortune in life is solely down to themselves.  The question I ask myself is, if I was born into their circumstances, would my choices be any different?  When you risk your life to find employment, is that really a choice at all?  Or the last and only option you feel is available?  A young man interviewed by the BBC said that risking his life to get to Europe didn't scare him, 'I'm already dead here'.

Unemployment is currently at 17.6% and the impact is not only on the financial circumstances of young people as we see in Lampedusa.  The  situation in Tunisia is not one which can change overnight.  However if people choose to leave, they should be able to do so safely and full informed about the realities of where they are going.    Associations like AJMEC are providing an invaluable service to young people and Tunisia as a whole.  Giving them an opportunity to travel, see different cultures and share life experiences with young Europeans by taking part in exchanges and programs like European Voluntary Service.  

Talking to friends here about incidents like Lampedusa, I wanted to know their thoughts and feelings about their future as young Tunisians.  All agreed that there is a lack of opportunities for young people here and all had friends or family who had left themselves to find work elsewhere.  Some wanted to stay in Tunisia, others want to go to America or Europe.  'Inchallah'  (God willing) they will find their way.

Here are their stories.

Haroun is 20 years old and currently studying to be a nurse.  He's one of the few young men that I've spoken to who wants to stay in Tunisia.  Fiercely proud of his home city, Sousse, he is under no illusions about life outside of Tunisia.....

Recently a boat carrying around 100 Tunisian people trying to reach the Italian island Lampedusa capsized and 44 people lost their lives.  What do you think about young Tunisian people risking their lives to go to Europe?

H:  Going to Italy is something that most of Tunisian youth crave for. First and foremost, the current situation in Tunisia is kind of deteriorating and miserable. Secondly, they unfortunately think that money would be given easily there and life would be easier.

What was your dream job when you were growing up?

H:  When I was a kid, I always dreamt of a perfect and bright future as a plane pilot or a doctor. But then,when I saw the rotten situation in the country, I started losing hope and lost my dreams..

What do you want to do when you finish your studies?

H:  Had I finished my studies, I would struggle to find a position that fits my level of studies, however it might be difficult. Meanwhile, I would try to look for an alternative job instead of remaining jobless.

What do you think are the main challenges facing young people in Tunisia?

H:  First of all, the level of education in Tunisia is mediocre and incomparable to education in other developed countries so one wouldn’t achieve anything of a use. Then, it’s a little bit tough and not everyone is able to finish their studies. And finally, family ‘s situation may be one of the hindrances that oblige one to assume responsibility within his family and let go of his studies.

Do you have friends or know people who have left Tunisia to live somewhere else?

H:  I know a few. Some of them got married with an older lady and he’s not quite happy in his new life. I know some who paid to go there and practically lost all his money. I also know someone who went there illegally and now he’s having a tough and shameful life.

Do you see yourself living in Tunisia?

H:  Well, I like this question. You may be surprised of my answer after what I’ve stated, yet, I’m happy to a point that you can’t imagine in here. I adore my city, Sousse. Everything I need is available. Some people may envy us for the life we’re giving here. Anyway, I’m grateful for the life I’m leading and I don’t want to force myself to cope with some difficult living standards for I am a reasonable person

What do you think the government can do to improve opportunities for young people?

H:  I personally think that the government can’t do anything actually, It’s not like it’s got a magic stick or something to make the situation brighter and better in overnight. However it can help them to act creatively instead of turning them down or at least try to work with other foreign programs synchronically. Politics is not really my thing so I can’t fully give my opinion about what the government can or can’t do it or what should happen.

Arij 

Recently a boat carrying around 100 Tunisian people trying to reach the Italian island Lampedusa capsized and 44 people lost their lives. What do you think about young Tunisian people risking their lives to go to Europe?

A:  well, first of all may their souls rest in peace and may God be with their families! However, I think it’s stupid beyond words to risk their lives to go anywhere illegally! Not to mention so unfair to their families who will never recover from their loss. I’m a huge believer in staying home. I think everyone should try his best to succeed and make the best of his life at home; without having to flee to any other country where he may or may not get the life he always hoped for! 

What was your dream job when you were growing up?

A: I always wanted to be a teacher or a pilot ( ok to be honest I wanted to BE a teacher and MARRY a pilot) 

What do you want to do when you finish your studies? 

A:  after finishing my MA I’m hoping to be an English university Teacher, an American civilization teacher to be specific.

What do you think are the main challenges facing young people in Tunisia?

A:  Well I think the main challenge facing some of the young Tunisian students is THEIRSELVES! They need to change their mentalities and work on themselves first to turn the country into a better place. To be fair though, Tunisian students don’t have THAT many job opportunities. I think Tunisia needs more investments so that more jobs can be provided. Currently though, I think the country is headed for the right direction and hopefully we’ll get there. 

Do you have friends or know people who have left Tunisia to live somewhere else?

A:  I have some cousins who left the country a long time ago to live in France.  I think they left the country, legally of course, for better job opportunities. They are happy I guess, but they’re always homesick!

Do you see yourself living in Tunisia?

A:  Of course, where would I else be? As I said previously, I’m a huge believer in staying home. I think if I’m working to become a university teacher, I better be a successful one I my own country!  If I could leave, I would! But only temporarily. I would never leave the country for good. I think I would go to the US only to make some research for my PHD, god willing, and then I would be back to Tunisia.  I think the government should look for better investments so that youngsters won’t look for jobs elsewhere!

Maali

Everyone knows very well the problem of unemployment in Tunisia, and every day this problem is repeated so because of all that the Tunisian unemployed always think outside he will find the good work and good conditions of living.

We can say that it is a dream to travel and improve the financial situation of the unemployed and same for his family.  I am against this act and at the same time I'm not sure that Tunisian government will help this people and this young persons to stay here.  These people are not passive they are so ambitious but with the wrong way because they didn't have possibilities and solutions to find a good way for their future.

In the future i want to be a professor of Spanish.  I would like to work in the unviersity and learn another language and I want to create an agency of travel.

I think that we face unemployment , lack of entertainment and societies and an absence of encouragement from the Tunisian government.

I have some people of my family who live in France and Belgium, they are working there.  I want to live in Tunisia but I would also like to travel and see a new people , enjoy my free times, my life with other cultures.  Only I would like to continue my studies in Spain but then return home.
In the reality sometimes I say 'I think that I want to leave Tunisia' but sometimes I don't because there is my family, my life, my friends. 

I  think in this politic and economic environment the Tunisian government cant do any thing for its people and maybe we should wait for our political future because there is relation between economic life and political life in this country. 

Melik

I think young Tunisian who are risking their lives to go to Europe are a little bit stupid because if they studied and had their degree they won't think bout that they'll go to Europe with a normal way. 


My dream job when i grow up is to be a physiotherapist and a professional basketball player .

After finishing my studies i want to Marry have a family to care about a nice job and of course playing basketball all day long. 

The main challenges facing young people here in Tunisia is to find a job you know, many students finish their studies then spend 5 or 6 years searching for a job and they don't find it so the only solution is to go to other countries.

After finishing my studies i want to marry have a family to care about a nice job and of course playing basketball all day long!  I know some people who left Tunisia to study in Europe and they are happy.  I see myself living here but i think it's better if i try to live out of Tunisia for a bit first.

If i could leave i won't hesitate, my dream is to go to USA and to play basketball there.

Ramadan; A month like no other.

Thanks to Damien Brejou for photograph

The holy month of Ramadan is observed by over 1.5 billion muslims across the world.  In the United Kingdom, we might know a colleague, neighbour or friend who is fasting but what do we really know about this month beyond the ‘not eating, not drinking’ part?  Many may ask ‘what’s the point?’, and that’s exactly what I’m learning here in Tunisia.

Fasting during Ramadan between sunrise and sunset is obligatory for Muslims, as one of the 5 pillars of Islam it holds a deep significance for both practicing and non-practicing followers of Islam.  It is a time to become closer to Allah (SWT), to be charitable and think of others, to self-reflect and to seek forgiveness for wrong doing.  KEEP READING!   Don’t dismiss this post as irrelevant to non-muslims - each of us as volunteers in Tunisia, irrespective of nationality or religion have learned something during this month, both about Islam and ourselves.

‘Wish for your brother what you wish for yourself’

In the weeks leading up to Ramadan, supermarkets across Sousse were used by associations as a venue to collect food for under-privileged local people.  My association AJMEC also organised this initiative and managed to collect enough food for 15 families.  The generosity of local people and families who themselves don’t have a disposable income was overwhelming.  They were also surprised and touched to see foreigners collecting to help Tunisians – in these moments labels and nationalities dissolve into insignificance. 

A good friend of mine offered me some wise words in the first days of Ramadan.  I complimented him on the fact that he regularly gives to the elderly asking for money on the street.  His reply was short and simple, ‘it’s not my money, it’s Gods’.  Whether you believe there is a God or not, what a beautiful philosophy!  There is so much greed and selfishness in this world, so many people destined to live a life of hardship because they were born into it.  To relinquish one’s ownership of material possessions and to openly share all that you can because you recognise a human being in need is something we should all aspire to.

I didn’t really know what to expect during Ramadan with regards to day to day life during this month.  On the first night I travelled to Tunis to watch a football match.   My train was delayed which meant I was arriving just before Iftar (opening of the fast), knowing that everything would be closed I worried about what I would eat/drink as I too was fasting.  Luckily my friend there explained the situation to his sister who prepared the most delicious feast for me at the last minute.  Later at the stadium I watched a group of around 70 men make their evening prayer.  When you’ve gone all day without food or water in soaring temperatures, it’s easy to understand why even after the fast opens you want to give thanks. 

'Zara' in Tunis 

When fasting, you have the luxury of knowing that in a few hours, you will have a good meal and plenty of water.  It makes you remember that not everyone is so lucky.  I think about the parents who don’t know when they will next be able to provide food or water for their children.  I think about how they explain this to them and it fills me with sadness.

Family life also becomes even more important here in Ramadan.  Opening the fast with food lovingly prepared is such a special moment, every time.  Yes my family are in Scotland but every time I’ve opened the fast here I’ve felt part of a family; with the volunteers at home, in the Youth Centre and at home with Tunisian people

Opening the fast with young people in Dar Chabeb, Kalaa Kebira

The values lived in this sacred month remind us of how we should treat one another all year.  Sharing everything, being caring and kind, grateful and patient.  If only every month could be   like Ramadan.......

'A feeling of grief now fills my heart;
As the month of Ramadhan will soon depart.
So lets make a start and worship Him alone;
Now that the worth of this month is known.'  

(Taken from the poem 'Ramadan is Here' by Asma Sadia'