What's that on your head? Hijab Stories

Since I started wearing the hijab on the 5th March 2013, I've said the word hijab more than 1,364,229 times.  I say it more times than I say my own name, I no longer need an introduction, apparently my hijab says it all.

Recently I attended a talk about feminism and stated how frustrating it is to spend so much time talking about the way I look - when that's exactly the opposite of what I was trying to achieve.  However, I'm learning to accept that it's something different for a lot of people and I suppose curiosity and questions are better than silence and judgement.  

Looking back over these months, there have been some really funny and beautiful moments.  So, I thought I'd write them down for the people who maybe wanted to ask but didn't in fear of saying the wrong thing or the right thing in the wrong way.

My Mum pines for 'my beautiful hair'.  Ofcourse she sees it all the time but she wants other people to see it and marvel at it's glory.  'It's such a waste for it to be hidden', a waste of what exactly I'm not sure but I promise to start making a conscious effort to swish, brush and flaunt it around the house as much as possible to get proper use out of it.  Love you Mum!

On a family trip to St Andrews, whilst they all tucked into sandwiches and wraps from 'Ye Old' whatever, I needed some spice!  After living in Tunisia for a year it's hard to taste anything without chilli.  The guy in the kebab shop was chatting away and asked where I'm from, to which I replied Edinburgh.  'No, where are you really from?'  I wasn't really sure what answer he was looking for.  He then asked me where my parents and grandparents were from.  Scotland and Scotland (I have the least exciting family tree ever).  As this was the first time this happened I was genuinely confused until I realised it was my hijab that was confusing him.  Now that I'm in on the game it's quite funny watching brains tick when I say I'm from Edinburgh.

Whilst at the YES Scotland march (please vote YES) we bumped into an old family friend.  She's a lovely woman, one of the funniest and most vivacious I've ever met actually.  Once at a dinner party she announced that my sister and I were both beautiful - 'One more beautiful than the other' (her take on an old saying apparently!).  This time she warmly embraced me and shouted 'Oh wow, look at you, you're still beautiful even with that on your head!'.  My Mum and me couldn't stop laughing, we know her and her reaction was a classic.  

Since coming home I've made a wonderful new friend called Sophie (don't be jealous old friends I love you too).  Sophie and me meet for jujube tea in cafe's where the cups don't match.  We discuss politics, feminism, religion, what's on at the Filmhouse, articles we read in the Guardian and dream jobs with human rights organisations.  She's wonderful.  The first time Sophie seen me without my hijab, her reaction was 'Oh my God, is that you?  I don't know if I like it, I mean I'm not used to it!'.  She only knows me with my scarf and it's a lovely feeling.  She readily accepts me, partly because she's a shiny star and partly because she doesn't come with any preconceived ideas about 'who I am'.

Finally, the amazing little girl who sat in her buggy on my bus home from work, pointing and giggling and sincerely asking, 'what's that on your head?'.  

The ones who didn't make the cut..........

The guy who thought it would be nice to shout abuse at me in the street, threaten to hit me and rip off my scarf.  And all the people who watched and said/did nothing.  Not cool.

The guy selling roses in Rome who was so happy that I'd converted that he started shouting about how 'not all Muslims are terrorists' in a crowded place.  

Ramadan; A month like no other.

Thanks to Damien Brejou for photograph

The holy month of Ramadan is observed by over 1.5 billion muslims across the world.  In the United Kingdom, we might know a colleague, neighbour or friend who is fasting but what do we really know about this month beyond the ‘not eating, not drinking’ part?  Many may ask ‘what’s the point?’, and that’s exactly what I’m learning here in Tunisia.

Fasting during Ramadan between sunrise and sunset is obligatory for Muslims, as one of the 5 pillars of Islam it holds a deep significance for both practicing and non-practicing followers of Islam.  It is a time to become closer to Allah (SWT), to be charitable and think of others, to self-reflect and to seek forgiveness for wrong doing.  KEEP READING!   Don’t dismiss this post as irrelevant to non-muslims - each of us as volunteers in Tunisia, irrespective of nationality or religion have learned something during this month, both about Islam and ourselves.

‘Wish for your brother what you wish for yourself’

In the weeks leading up to Ramadan, supermarkets across Sousse were used by associations as a venue to collect food for under-privileged local people.  My association AJMEC also organised this initiative and managed to collect enough food for 15 families.  The generosity of local people and families who themselves don’t have a disposable income was overwhelming.  They were also surprised and touched to see foreigners collecting to help Tunisians – in these moments labels and nationalities dissolve into insignificance. 

A good friend of mine offered me some wise words in the first days of Ramadan.  I complimented him on the fact that he regularly gives to the elderly asking for money on the street.  His reply was short and simple, ‘it’s not my money, it’s Gods’.  Whether you believe there is a God or not, what a beautiful philosophy!  There is so much greed and selfishness in this world, so many people destined to live a life of hardship because they were born into it.  To relinquish one’s ownership of material possessions and to openly share all that you can because you recognise a human being in need is something we should all aspire to.

I didn’t really know what to expect during Ramadan with regards to day to day life during this month.  On the first night I travelled to Tunis to watch a football match.   My train was delayed which meant I was arriving just before Iftar (opening of the fast), knowing that everything would be closed I worried about what I would eat/drink as I too was fasting.  Luckily my friend there explained the situation to his sister who prepared the most delicious feast for me at the last minute.  Later at the stadium I watched a group of around 70 men make their evening prayer.  When you’ve gone all day without food or water in soaring temperatures, it’s easy to understand why even after the fast opens you want to give thanks. 

'Zara' in Tunis 

When fasting, you have the luxury of knowing that in a few hours, you will have a good meal and plenty of water.  It makes you remember that not everyone is so lucky.  I think about the parents who don’t know when they will next be able to provide food or water for their children.  I think about how they explain this to them and it fills me with sadness.

Family life also becomes even more important here in Ramadan.  Opening the fast with food lovingly prepared is such a special moment, every time.  Yes my family are in Scotland but every time I’ve opened the fast here I’ve felt part of a family; with the volunteers at home, in the Youth Centre and at home with Tunisian people

Opening the fast with young people in Dar Chabeb, Kalaa Kebira

The values lived in this sacred month remind us of how we should treat one another all year.  Sharing everything, being caring and kind, grateful and patient.  If only every month could be   like Ramadan.......

'A feeling of grief now fills my heart;
As the month of Ramadhan will soon depart.
So lets make a start and worship Him alone;
Now that the worth of this month is known.'  

(Taken from the poem 'Ramadan is Here' by Asma Sadia'